This time last year during the lovely polar vortex, due to recovering from foot surgery, I spent my days sliding up and down my apartment stairs with a chic garbage bag tied to my waist in attempt to keep my bum somewhat dry. I know how to party.
Leopard scarf with cinched garbage bag skirt...don't tell me I don't know how to accessorize. Also instead of helping me, Lily thought this would be a good time to capture the moment...my friends are the best.
In honor of the snow and bitter cold this week I thought this would be an appropriate story to flash back to…
~It was just another Monday, sliding up the cold concrete steps on my ass, taking solace in the fact that at least the left side of my body would be jacked and gorgeously toned by the end of this latest adventure. So I make it to the top of the landing, wheezing as per usual, and preparing myself for the final choreographed move in this daily dance with the stairs. It entails me swinging from my butt onto my right knee, making sure my right foot doesn’t hit the ground, than grabbing the railing with my left hand, pulling myself up on my left leg and swinging into the awaiting wheelchair.
This all goes down right on the threshold of my neighbor’s front door. I’ve never met this neighbor, but I once had a dream that they were French and in a band, and was seriously convinced for awhile that this wasn’t a dream and actually true. Well sadly that day I debunked that belief, for my neighbor whom I had never had the pleasure of meeting, decided to open his front door at the exact moment of *right knee on pillow, ass in air*
I don’t know who was more surprised, me that someone actually lived there and probably really could hear me belting out my version of Beyonce’s If I were a Boy at all hours of the night, or him, confused as to why this strange woman was ass up on his welcome mat. Welcome indeed. I did a quick awkward wave, because what else is there really to do at this point and he naturally averted eye contact and walked around me.
I really think we’re going to be good friends.